Supermom Mirage

Supermom Mirage

 

A "staged" picture for a cookbook my mother, sis & I were featured in. We had to stage this picnic with her boss' wife and son to portray my mother as a fun single mom, but we never did picnics or family gatherings or BBQs, it was a lie.

I grew up being told by certain people that my mom was so wonderful, how she loved us so
much, how tireless she was and having HER herself make herself out to be the best mother ever
to us, her kids. She was a former school teacher! After all shed constantly remind us how she made all our clothes as kids, how she suffered having us by caesarian so wed have perfect heads and refused to hire a babysitter etc etc etc

So when you live with the illusion of your mother being a Supermom and that "Supermom" tells
you all these bad things about yourself and treats you like dirt, you feel like dirt. But when you
get out into the world and you get around other people your own age and you compare lives
and you start to realize how other people did much much worse "bad" things (during their teen
rebellious years) or things that were equal to yours yet they still had privileges, got to go places
and got their licenses at age 16 like everyone else, it really fucks with your mind and you get very
confused and become even MORE self questioning and over analytical and think to yourself that
you MUST have been a very fucked up person inside, and you must be horribly damaged.
So you continue to blame yourself.

Because you cannot bring yourself to blame your own Mother, the person people think is
Supermom and who is the ONE person who is supposed to LOVE, NURTURE, PROTECT and
CARE for you the most!

When you repeatedly accuse a child of things (and scowl and punish her for days-weeks-months
and years for them by bringing shit up and using it against her) and 90% of the time she did not
do the things she is being accused of, she will clam up, not wanna ever talk to you about anything and she will hide things from you in the future. AND whenever scary or upsetting things happen to her that she is unsure of, she wont feel comfortable coming to you cause you will blame her. Every instance of SELFLESSNESS my Mother projected to the public was a selfish attempt at portraying herself as a Martyr, a false Goddess.

----*----

From the time a child is born till that child is 18 years old it is the parents responsibility to teach,
raise, protect and love that child. This is why parents can be sued for their children's mistakes from birth to age 18. In some cultures and religions a child isn't responsible for anything they do as children as
children are thought to not have the capacity to make mature thoughtful decisions yet.
A National Institutes of Health study proposes that the part of the brain that restrains risky
behavior, including reckless driving, and thinking skills is not fully developed until the age of 25. 

Simply put, my former school teacher mothers selfless, kind, supermom image was an illusion.

It was cosplay. It was to wear in public and remove when she got home to her children.

Those children she treated like dolls...