Hold On....
Hold On...
Before you even read the rest of this book I need you to do a few things...
Because this book is a self help book it's a given you need some help. People who need help tend
to be depressed or sad or have anxiety issues.
Depression and Anxiety can cause physical symptoms.
Physical symptoms can worsen your depression and anxiety by causing you to believe you are
really sick or dying of some horrible disease, increasing your stress, making you feel even worse.
1/ So the first thing you need to do is go to a Dr, a Clinic, a friend whose Mom is a Dr or Nurse, or
Planned Parenthood and get yourself a full check up to make sure you are healthy and nothing is
physically wrong with you.
If at all possible include a full STD panel including HIV and Herpes. You need to request the Herpes
test yourself since its typically not included in the regular STD panel...
Do not be alarmed if you test positive for Herpes Simplex 1...90% of the population has HSV1 in the
form of cold sores...
Once you know you are healthy and you have that in hand and in your mind you will feel so much
better...
2/ Next, Ask a person you trust for a personal very honest evaluation.
HUH?
What I’m telling you to do is to go to a teacher or friend's mom you know and trust and ask them,
"I would like to know what you think of me personally, I want the 100% honest truth, Is there
anything I do that is bad, or self defeating, do you think I’m a good person? What should I work
on?"
Why should you do that?
Children who have bad home lives or bad parents who fill their heads up with negative crap tend
to believe what their parents say about them, and it limits them in life. Or if you are like me and
were raised by a Mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you not only get negative BS filling
your head BUT since Narcissists think they are better then everyone else their children parrot
(mimic) the haughty "better then everyone" thoughts and behaviors their mothers use, when
dealing with others and it makes others not like them.
Now, before you ask this person to be honest with you, you need to know that they might tell you
some things you might not like to hear, you might even be sad for a few days or be angry...BUT
you need to hear these things about yourself, so you can work on these things while you are still
young enough to change and correct them before they ruin your life...
I'll give you an example:
As I wrote above my Mother is a sufferer of Narcissistic Personality Disorder,... She used to talk
bad about other women. She'd hate on other women ALL.THE.TIME!
She'd tell me that women from the area around Chester, Pa, were bad mothers and didn't give
their kids fresh veggies, that women who made Kool-Aid and Hamburger Helper for their children
are BAD and Ketchup on scrambled eggs was white trash ETC ETC ETC...
Hearing these types of things made ME think they were TRUE, cause my MOTHER said them after
all! And I repeated them and acted like other women were dumb and I was soooo much better
than them (OMG HOW STUPID WAS I!?) and it made potential FRIENDS hate me and stay away!
So if you are told that some things you are doing are BULLSHIT and WRONG, you can check yo'self
before you wreck yo'self! (groaning at the silly phrase!)
3/ Stop letting OTHERS abuse you!!!!!!!!
NO ONE! I REPEAT, NO ONE HAS THE RIGHTS TO HIT YOU, SHOVE YOU, PUT THEIR HANDS
ANYWHERE
ON YOUR BODY, KIDNAP YOU, SEXUALLY ABUSE, RAPE, MISUSE YOU AND/OR DRUG
YOU OR PUT ANYTHING IN YOUR FOOD TO ENABLE THEM TO SEXUALLY TAKE
ADVANTAGE OF YOU, NOR DOES ANYONE HAVE THE RIGHTS TO WITHHOLD FOOD OR
DRINK FROM YOU OR TAKE NAKED PICS OR VIDEO OF YOU WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT
WHILE YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO GIVE YOUR CONSENT (18)
If you are being abused sexually or physically or emotionally (which is sometimes hard to tell if you
have low self esteem issues) You need to tell someone. Especially if you are being threatened. And
especially
if they are also hurting others. The sooner you stop the abuse, the
sooner it is you can get therapy and stop the destructive effects of the
abuse.
Go to the police station, a teacher, a principal, call a hotline, call a tv station if the person abusing
you is a person with power.
JUST TELL SOMEONE!
Adults
with major panic or anxiety disorders, or Fibromyalgia are shown to
have been sexually and/or physically abused as children, or grown up in a
household where violence was present.
CALL THE FUCKING COPS YOURSELF IF NO ONE ELSE WILL LISTEN OR DO ANYTHING.
4/ Stop Abusing Yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!
People abuse themselves in many many ways. Some ways are subtle, like grinding your teeth
without realizing it. Other ways are flat out blatantly obvious, like overeating to kill the pain of
childhood sexual abuse. Others are dangerous, like cutting, drugs or eating disorders...
Look online and call someone to get help.
You need to stop attacking yourself because your parents are losers. Treat yourself with love and
kindness.
Ill get into this more in depth later but start being conscious of the ways you hurt yourself and start
stopping these bad behaviors .
5/ Choose a sport you like and can play for the rest of your life. Healthy Exercise, Healthy
Competition, Sportsmanship and Camaraderie with Friends. Whether it's Golf, Roller Skating,
Hiking, Skiing, Bocce or Bowling, pick something you like and do it often. A group Life Sport or
activity provides the same things that church does as well as healthy body movement and
teamwork and FRIENDSHIP....Set a goal for once a week or twice a month.
6/ Stop caring what others say about you! This is different then number 2, I'm talking about Bullies,
not people who love and care about you giving you constructive criticism.
There are two different types of bullies:
These bullies are insecure about themselves. They are jealous of YOU so they bully to make you
seem smaller. Treat them with kindness, humor them, be self deprecating, and point out
something positive about them. Its reverse psychology.
• The bully who bullies cause he views you as weak, and he's sadistically using YOUR
weaknesses as a way to make him/herself feel better inside.
Ignore them at every chance you can! Do not show fear or hurt around them. Tell someone
immediately when they start. These bullies have serious issues and are the types that can be
dangerous.
Remember the reasons bullies bully is not about YOU it is about them.
Happy, Secure, Mentally Healthy people don't need to make others feel like shit.
7/ Start taking care of yourself NOW!
Eat nutritious food in moderate amounts, exercise even if it's just walking around your
neighborhood or Wii fitness. Go to bed at a good hour, Practice good hygiene. Groom yourself
well, take care of your clothing and teeth...
See chapter 14 for more.
8/ But if you are fat, be fat AND happy if you are fat!
Beth Ditto, Lizzo, Melissa McCarthy are all plus sized beauties. They own it, are unapologetic about it.
Men love them. People love them. Love yourself too.
Have a BBW swagger!
9/ YES and NO learn to say them both!
These are the things you should say NO to:
• NO you may not use me as a doormat
• NO, I will not have sex with you until you have proven you respect me and care about me.
• NO I will not eat an entire cake cause I am sad. I will talk to someone instead.
• NO, I am breaking up with you, because giving you a 3rd chance means you are treating me
like a doormat and I am not a doormat.
• NO, you will not lie to me.
These are the things you should say YES to:
• YES, I will go to the beach with you
• YES I will take every opportunity that comes my way, even if I'm nervous or afraid Ill fail.
• YES, I will study hard and get better grades this year because I want better things for
myself in life
• YES, I will try something at least 3 times before throwing in the towel.
• YES, I am worth loving.
10/ Learn to say I'M SORRY and ADMIT WHEN YOU ARE WRONG...
Children (and people) who are abused or are told they are bad or at fault for things all the time
whether they are truly wrong or not, are hyper-defensive about ANY accusations made towards
them and tend to DENY DENY DENY everything and anything they are accused of...
This approach works against you, because if you ALWAYS say “It wasnt me” or “I didnt do it”
when you DID in fact do SOMETHING wrong occasionally, even if it is only an occasional 1 time out
of 10, you are STILL LYING! And that is STILL WRONG!
So admit when you are wrong, say I am sorry (and MEAN IT!) and move the fuck on!
You do not want to be known as a LIAR on TOP of a troublemaker right?
You WANT to be known for your CREDIBILITY...
Let's say you have a mother like mine, who is always accusing you of doing bad things and because
of this you get a complex and so let's say you do something bad just once and take your sisters
jeans and get chocolate on them...
Look, since its just you, your mom and your sister living in the apartment ITS OBVIOUS YOU DID
DO IT...
But if you LIE and say, NO IT WASNT ME, they will then believe you to be a liar TOO...
SEE?
So if you admit you did it and apologize this time, guess what? It makes your next denial more
trustable.
11/ Stop fantasizing and be real...
LOOK! JUSTIN BIEBER IS NOT GONNA MARRY YOU!
YOU AREN'T GONNA BE A ROCK SINGER OR A MODEL...
Set realistic goals and realistic expectations in your life.
BE REAL.
BE AUTHENTIC.
You know why? Because if you are the most realest genuine person you can be, THEN THAT IS
WHAT WILL ATTRACT Justin Bieber to you if you should ever meet him in the future …
BTW Stars such as Justin Bieber dont want mindless girls who AGREE with everything they do and
say, they want CHALLENGES, they want REAL women
12/ Accept and Love Yourself
This is the hardest one to do on this chapter list...
Lemme tell you this.
I spent most of my best years, trying to prove myself to other people! Get them to like me,
starving myself to get into a size Zero, abusing myself cause I felt worthless and hated myself.
It got me no where.
I'm still me...Im a good person, and I always was, I just didnt know it cause my Mother treated me
like shit and I thought I was shit, when I actually was a good person!
You are just you!
By the law of averages you are not gonna be a Supermodel, or live in a 7,000 square foot Mansion.
You are you.
Learn to love you.
Learn to love your body
Learn to accept yourself.
You will be soooo much happier, free and healthy...
<3 YOU!
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