Why Some Of Your Friends/Associates Dont Understand Why You Go No Contact With Your Parent(s)

 

 

 

 Why Some Of Your Friends/Associates Dont Understand Why You Go No Contact With Your Parent(s)

I hope you get these analogies, cause Im stoned out of my gourd and I might be thinking Im making sense...

I think its several different reasons:

 Timestamp 1:33

The first main reason is what Jerry Seinfeld said to Larry David on CICGC/Netflix.

Paraphrasing and condensing,

Larry wants to know why its wrong for Larry to order hot herbal tea when he goes out for coffee with other people. Larry said, "Its still hot, in a cup and I can sip it and steam comes up, how is that different?

Jerry says, "You wanna know the difference? We go out for Ice Cream, we all get a cone, and you get a salad! THATS the difference"

 

Second more minor reason is.... The White Actress Diane Farr, fell in love with a South Korean man, Seung. Her family accepted Seung. HIS Asian family took it very hard...

It took his family a long time to crystalize why they were SAD about their son marrying a white American women. Even tho they live in America.

And its THIS:

They were afraid that their grandkids would reject the family traditions and thus, THEM if he married an American (it wasnt her race) They wanted him to marry a South Korean woman. Diane and Seung eventually married and had 4 kids and after 20 yrs divorced.

Ive got one more analogy and then Ill tie it up together

 

Do y'all remember the scene in the movie Peggy Sue Got Married, where Peggy and Nick Cage (I cant ever recall his characters name) were back in the 50s and they broke up, and Peggys friends were all in Peggys bedroom crying and going on about the breakup?

"You cant break up Peggy! We were supposed to buy 4 houses next to each other and our husbands and do everything together" Peggy and her friends were all dating the guys in the same band.

The Moral of all of this is that there are some people that just want everything to stay the same, or they wanna do the same traditions (like Mothers day etc) with you cause they hate change, or if YOU cant get along with your own mother, OMG then that will make them uncomfortable or they like the status quo cause it delays THEM from evaluating, or facing their own issues with their families!

Also, ppl HATE when you try to be a better person (esp if you lose weight)

Or, perhaps they are afraid that you will get rid of them next?

Or that they might feel that they will be hesitant to share things with you about THEIR Moms, because of the tension or "Its weird now"...

I met my friend V. the year I went NC in 2004, I love her, we have been thru some fun times on Paltalk, but she just doesnt get it, "Preesi, shez yuh mutha!" (she sounds like Cyndy Lauper)

My therapist told me to tell V, "It means that Preesi shouldnt have gotten the mother she had".. Im like, that explains NOTHING.

So Ive sat here 20 years after NC and done introspection and deep thoughts and what Ive realized is THE REASON HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH US, ITS THEM.

THEY have the PROBLEM understanding. We have probably told them multiple times in emotional, colorful language and hand gestures and sometimes with heavy tears, what we have gone thru and if that doesnt explain it adequately, then fuck em! If you tell that friend that your mom stayed with your rapist, or stole your Identity to get loans and buy drugs, or that they beat you often, or anything else like that, and they still dont get it. FUCK THEM! If they still dont understand after telling them that shit, thats NOT misunderstanding thats a willful act of ignorance.

Ive known V for 20 years. I love her. I also love D, R, L, C, B, R, and M. But now if Im with our little gang, if Vs there I just dont talk about my mom. Not worth the aggravation and trying to explain and potentially ripping off a fresh bandaid.

Because, You know how a lot of times you are having a conversation and you need to quickly mention the NC parent or abuse for reference, but theres always that person who you are talking to, or in mixed company, who once they hear you mention your mom or NC they will stop you to chastize you or probe you for details, then you explaining gets you upset, rips off the fresh bandaid.

Its their problem. So dont talk to them about it anymore. Not worth it.

Well, I think this post has every single possibility out there its so long. :D LOL