Chapter 5 - YOU

 Chapter 5 – YOU

“That Girl" and “That Other Girl”

In all of our lives there is THAT GIRL who is always impeccably dressed, does well in school,
has a nice boyfriend, plays sports after school, is always kind and maybe volunteers...
Then there is THAT OTHER GIRL ...You know who I mean...THAT OTHER GIRL who dresses
like a Ho, smokes cigarettes like a chimney, and acts like a Teen Mom on the Maury show.
The girl on the top was raised to respect herself in a loving caring environment.
The girl on the bottom? Her parents turned a blind eye to her having sex too young, and didnt set
boundaries and taught her she was worthless, or worse yet, didnt care what she did and allowed
her to be harmed and raped and didnt show her they cared by protecting her.
How do you get to be the girl on the top if you only have YOU to rely on?
By nurturing yourself, being good to yourself, learning from your own mistakes, listening to your
inner voice when it tells you to STOP doing things that may harm you, refusing to accept anything
less than the best for yourself, hard work, discipline, living by your moral code....being a good
person, being a good friend and above all LOVING YOURSELF. AND FORGIVING YOURSELF!

Questions:

 • Do you love yourself?
A lot of books and TV shows and people will ask you this question and a lot of you will answer,
“YES, I love myself! Of course I do!” They answer but they really don’t know what loving yourself
means.
Loving yourself means, do you love the person you are?
Ask yourself this, “If I met myself at school or at camp or work, would I love me? Would I want to
be friends with me?”
Really examine this question...
Think about how you behave in public, how you treat other people, if you lie to people, if you are
obnoxious...
A lot of people say they love themselves but in all actuality they treat people like shit.
But when they get treated the same exact way they hate it.
So really look at WHO YOU REALLY ARE!
Then start making changes to be the type of person you would love to be friends with.

• Do you respect yourself?
If you were best friends with YOU, would you allow anyone to abuse or mistreat your “friend”?
NO! No you wouldn't!
But why not? Is it because you VALUE your “friend” too much as a person?
That is what RESPECTING someone means. It means you VALUE them highly. And when you
VALUE someone highly you refuse to allow them to be abused, mistreated, lied to, cheated on,
stolen from or worse...
Let's say you have an old expensive diamond bracelet you inherited from your Grandma, would
YOU leave that bracelet on the foyer floor to be stepped all over and broken and muddied?
NO, No you would not! You VALUE that bracelet too much to allow that! You would put it in a
jewelry box or a lock box up on a shelf!
So VALUE/RESPECT yourself as much as that bracelet!
So do YOU VALUE/ RESPECT YOURSELF? If not, its time to start....
Start by not allowing others to use/abuse you and standing up for yourself from now on...

• Are you true to yourself?
Go look at the Moral Toolbox section of the Religion Chapter.
Do you stay TRUE to your moral code?
Do you stay true to your personality?
You know when you are watching a TV series for a long time, watching from the very 1st episode
and you love all the characters personalities, especially the favorite couple on the show? Well don't
you hate how the writer/creator of the series one day, 4 seasons in, suddenly decides to make the
wife cheat on the hubby?
Don't you hate that? The writer, to create new stories to ramp up ratings, decided to not keep the
characters TRUE to themselves...Usually it makes watchers and fans abandon the show.
So do your morals or personality change with the wind? Or do you stick to what you want and
believe in and stay true to yourself...?
BE CONSISTENT!

• Do you think you are a nice person?
“Oh she's so NIIIICE!” I hear people say. Usually in reference to a mousey pushover...
The best part of being a woman is knowing when not to be too much of a lady...
Meaning if you are always sweet and niiiiiice, every once in awhile its okay to tell someone who is a
complete asshole or is hurting you or hurting others to “FUCK THE HELL OFF!”
Understand?
Be nice when it counts and is deserved. Otherwise do not always be so NIIIIIIIIIIIIICE! Okay?

• Do you think you are a good decent person?

• Do you care about the world in which you live?
• Do you stand up for causes?
• Do you hold the door for elderly or people in wheelchairs?
• Do you refuse to use racial slurs, or hate speech?
• Do you stay after BBQs and offer to help clean up?

You are a good person.

• Do you throw your Mickey Dees milkshake cup out of the moving car window on the interstate?
• Do you immediately run and tell your friends secrets you swore you wouldnt tell anyone?
• Do you damage other peoples property and walk away?
• Do you bully others?
• Do you stand and FILM a fight to put on YouTube instead of calling the cops?

You are an asshole.

No one likes an asshole! They stink.
However, there are many things that young people do that seem to be assholery, but are simply
“Rights of Passage”
Some “Rights of Passage” are:

• TPing houses at Halloween.
• Wearing Statement Tshirts
• PARTYING!
• Being loud
• Swearing
• Trying alcohol or cigarettes

Dont beat yourself up over things like those...THEY ARE NORMAL

• Do you think you are a pushover/doormat?
If you are constantly helping others or adopting stray pets or thinking of others less fortunate than
you...this is NOT being a doormat/pushover! This is being a great loving person and you should
keep that up....
BUT if you are always lending people money who never pay you back or you are constantly letting
people borrow your things and they never return them or you let people talk you into writing book
reports for you or doing things for them and they never pay you or return the favor or you let guys
get in your pants and they dont care about you or respect you...
YOU, MY DEAR ARE A DOORMAT AND A PUSHOVER....
Time to shut the bank vault, Close your closet door and your legs!
You are closed for business!

• Are you a mean girl?
ARE YOU A BULLY?
Do you pick on other kids or girls ?
Do you take your inner pain out on others?
How do you think it makes THEM FEEL?
If YOU feel inner pain and sadness and are taking it out on others it makes it worse and doesnt
solve the problem.
Instead of being a mean girl why not reach out and make a friend instead?
Or if you are feeling bad go online for support or call a hotline and talk to someone?
You wouldnt like it if someone else treated YOU that way, dont do it to THEM.

• Do you do GOOD things to get attention or is it from your heart?
If you are only donating time and money to the School Charity Drive to SHOW other people (or
especially to get the attention of your fave crush) how GREAT you are and bragging later how
GREAT YOU WERE for doing it...
Then you did it for the TOTALLY WRONG REASONS...
Charity is not for bragging about. It is to come from your heart. You need to FEEL a desire in your
heart to help and volunteer...
Charity and Causes and Volunteering should be personal to you...

• Do you know what integrity means?

 
Integrity is
The rigid unwavering way in which YOU stick to your moral and ethical codes... For
instance ...“Michael loved getting coffee at the corner coffee shop but after the owner was
convicted of domestic abuse his integrity didn't allow him to stop there anymore, because
domestic violence was against his morals”

• Can you be happy in alone time?
I love being alone in my house. Love it!
In the morning, after my son goes to school when the house is quiet and the day is fresh and new
and its just me and my thoughts and ideas. I love it.
I can think, plan, brainstorm, create and do some introspection...
However, there are lots of people that HATE BEING ALONE!
They HATE the silence and alone time. They hate their own thoughts and exploring their feelings.
My mother has never taken a vacation from her job in 35 years. She will even go into the office to
work on State Holidays...She does not want to be alone with her thoughts...Because to be alone in
her thoughts means she will have to think of the things shes done, and the one thing my mother
wants to avoid is INTROSPECTION...

in·tro·spec·tion
noun \ˌin-trə-ˈspek-shən\
Definition of INTROSPECTION
: a reflective looking inward : an examination of one's own thoughts and feelings
self-examination, soul-searching.

The ONLY way we as people learn from our mistakes or decide whether we were right or wrong in
situations and conflicts is to LOOK INWARD at our actions by doing introspection.
For instance : Claires introspection during her ride to work allowed her to reflect on the job she
was doing and she realized she was too harsh on her co-worker Diane cause she was jealous of
her.

• Are you your own best friend?
Imagine you had a perfect best friend...
How would YOU treat him/her?
Now treat yourself that same way EVERY DAY...

• Do you lie to yourself?
Do you tell yourself lies?
Do you tell yourself things like:

• “I'll only date him until I find someone better, Its no big deal”
• “I can handle drinking every night”
• “I can quit smoking anytime, I just dont want to”
• “Its okay if I get my friend to do my Math homework, I wont need Math to be a Salon Owner
• anyway”

If you are lying to yourself its because you dont want to be accountable to yourself, you are trying
to avoid BEATING YOURSELF up and having to admit you were wrong.
And if you were abused or mistreated as a child and told you were no good and bad, perhaps you
are trying to protect yourself by not beating yourself up further.
But lying to yourself just creates more trouble down the road, when the things you are lying to
yourself turn out to not be true...like the “I can drink every night” lie turns into alcoholism and
ruins your life...Better to admit you have a problem now before it becomes a big issue later.
Love yourself by not lying to yourself.

• Do you tell people things about yourself that aren’t true?
Do you tell other people things that you know are 100% not true? Do you make up elaborate stories
of things you have done in life or things you have?
WHY?
Read the topic below “Do you want people to look up to you or to be jealous of you?”

• Do you think no one likes you?
Do you think that everyone hates you or thinks you are weird?
Because my childhood was so abnormal and I was told such awful things about myself growing up
and Gaslighted, I grew up thinking EVERYONE hated me and thought I was a weirdo. I over
compensated and tried to over prove myself to everyone I met cause I was desperate to get
people to like me. I would give people things, let them walk all over me, let guys have sex with
me... Aside from that behavior turning me into a doormat it was un natural and did nothing for me.
Years later when I was an adult and I would bump into people from school and theyd tell me they
always thought I was a cool person or guys would say they always wanted to ask me out, I then
realized that my insecurities were all imagined and all in my head...
So start building some authentic self awareness and strip away those self doubts.

• Are you self aware?
Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize oneself as an
individual separate from the environment and other individuals.
How to build SELF AWARENESS
http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/self-awareness.htm
• Some Pertinent Definitions
Acute
adjective, brief and sometimes severe (opposite of chronic).
Chronic
adjective , having long duration or being continuous (opposite of acute).
Self Esteem
noun, to hold oneself in a high value, self respect.
Self Confidence
noun, confidence in oneself and in one's powers and abilities
Normal Narcissism (as opposed to a personality disorder)
noun, interest in or admiration for oneself, esp one's physical appearance
Haughty
adjective, having or showing the insulting attitude of people who think that they are better, smarter,
or more important than other people.
Secure
adjective, stable, firm and confident in ones abilities and self.
Insecure
adjective, loose and unstable in ones abilities, view and self.

• Do you think that if someone doesn't like you that they are just jealous of you?
When you have a bad homelife and you are emotionally and verbally abused at home you tend to
take things very personally. Anytime anyone says anything critical to or about you, or if you hear
someone doesn't like you, you take that harder than a person with good upbringing .
This is CHRONIC LOW SELF ESTEEM and insecurity.
Chronic low self esteem and insecurites can cause serious issues. It can cause people to put up a
defensive mechanism of haughtiness to mask their hurt. They become prideful and lash out by
saying, “Oh they are just jealous of me....” What this does is it doesnt allow you to learn from your
mistakes and forgive yourself and others. It doesnt allow you to hear good advice people may give
you. And too much haughtiness turns most people off and can cause you to lose or stop making
friends.
It just makes you look foolish...

For Instance:
If you are out there running around wearing really revealing clothing and your friends or anyone for that matter, tells you you look ridiculous...Dont take that as a SLAM, really look at what you are wearing and before you think they are jealous, do some introspection and evaluate whether they are right and cared enough about you to tell you the truth instead of think they are jealous...then thank them....

Look, regular self confidence and some short spurts of narcissism are good for you. Healthy,
Normal people go through periods of acute insecurity and acute narcissism.
A burst of insecurity signals to you that you might need to re-evaluate your job or do some
introspection...And a healthy short burst of narcissism allows you to feel happy in some situations
and bask in the glow of a job well done!
However, if you are saying everyone is always jealous of you and you arent Jennifer Lawrence and
you are a 15 yr old kid who has no interests, talents or high school diploma yet, and you think you
are all that. you NEED to get a hold of reality cause one day your haughtiness might cause you to
get punched out of you. Or you will end up alone with no friends.
As the phrase says CHECK YOSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOSELF!

• Do you want people to look up to you or to be jealous of you?
If you want others to be jealous of you, why?
If you do things to make people jealous of you or to envy you, that shows a problem with YOU!
That means YOU have insecurity issues, that YOU need constant reassurance and other people to
“fluff” you up with attention in order to feel good about yourself.
Most people do not care if others are jealous of them, in fact MOST people just want to get along
with everyone and blend in.
And if people look up to another person they tend to put that person on a pedestal and not see
them as a real person. They treat them like they are special and then when the person on the
pedestal is a normal human and makes mistakes, the people looking up to them tend to punish
the person.
Finally, in order for people to TRULY admire and look up to you, you have to have done something
valuable or worthy, and if all you are doing is “FLUFF” and showing off to get people jealous of
you, then thats superficial nonsense. Thats not like you are Captain Sully Sullenberger who saved
200+ people in that plane on the Hudson River.
So do things to TRULY EARN PEOPLES ADMIRATION!

• If you have a boyfriend, do you always feel the need to flaunt your relationship in public?
Do you make-out in public so others can see you? Do you constantly feel like you need to show off your “love” and do wild things while you are out in public or around friends and family? What you are doing is trying to get OTHER people to validate YOUR relationship so YOU feel good about it, because it isnt a REAL romance. Its just for show. Things we value we tend to PROTECT. Like the Grandmothers Bracelet story from above...
For years Angelina Jolie repeatedly FLAUNTED her romantic relationships. With Billy Bob Thornton she made out with him in public, wore his blood on a chain around her neck and made a HUGE SPECTACLE out of the entire relationship.
The relationship died in flames.
But once Angie met Brad and it was a REAL GENUINE love match, she is so much more private with it. Cause she values it. (This example didnt age well, lol)
If its REAL you DO NOT have to prove it to anyone.
Remember that POINT!

• Do you have INTERESTS and/or Hobbies?
Interests make you interesting... They make your life richer and more fun...they help you make
friends and give you a conversation starter...
If you play sports they help teach you many good lessons.
Get some today...Read Subchapter B below

• Do you lie and gossip about others?
Let me start by saying that there is nothing wrong with gossiping. Some gossiping is healthy, helps
our minds stick to our moral code...
However when our gossip takes a turn into being bad for us, is when its malicious and lies.
Girls and Boys are raised differently. Boys are encouraged to be vocal and speak out and fight
(both by fists and on a sports field in competition) when disagreements happen. Girls however,
are taught that they must ALWAYS BE NICE and GET ALONG with everyone to have lots of friends.
Social standing is a huge deal in GIRLS WORLDS.
However, what this does is takes away girls rights to not speak out for fear of being seen as UNNICE
and not wanting to GET ALONG!
So what occurs is that girls, in order to settle scores without fists, they spread viscous rumors on
the sly, they isolate groups of other girls from a specific girl so she loses all her friends and
FRIENDSHIP is huge to girls.
Boys settle things with fists or competition
Girls destroy each other with sick mindgames.
Break the cycle, DONT play the sick games. If you have an issue with someone settle it face to face.

• Do you like to show off?
Scroll back up and re-read the topic “Do you want people to look up to you or to be jealous of
you?”

• Do you forgive yourself?
Have you been naughty in the past and done things bad and think that “oh well, thats just who I
am, BAD!” Its time to move on and forgive yourself for the past and move on and be a better
person. Dont beat yourself up, Forgive and move forward.

• Do you brag about things you have?
Are you always talking about things you have at home? How many game systems, or TVs or
cellphones or pairs of heels or all the fashion clothes or bling you got?
Its fine to talk about it when others are talking about or comparing their gear, but when its all you
ever talk about, it shows others that you aint got much in your head...
People who have to brag to others usually are lacking in other areas...
Consult the Interests and Hobbies section again, and get some other shit to talk about...

• Do you have a moral code?

Moral Code
Your personal moral code is your personal set of morals, rules and standards you try to live by and
the way in which you conduct yourself in society.
Morals are rules that you hold for yourself as being RIGHT or CORRECT for a good way to be in life
and society...

If you have no moral code and you go thru life like glue in the wind sticking to everything and
sliding off, no one will ever be able to rely on you or trust you or your judgment.
Lets say you get arrested in the future for something you did not do.
Are your friends and family going to immediately KNOW YOU ARE INNOCENT and STAND UP FOR
YOU because the crime you were arrested for is SO out of character and out of your moral code?
Or will they not know for sure cause you have no Character or Moral Code?
Having a moral code is sometimes hard but its a better way to live and if you live a moral life, then
OTHERS WILL FOLLOW.

Your Goals/Bucket list

 You need personal goals of things you want for yourself out of life.
This goal list should be updated frequently as you accomplish each thing on it.
Because you should be moving forward in life not backwards

A Sample list of Goals are:

1. Ask for a raise
2. Lose 10 pounds and keep it off
3. Enroll in Spin Class
4. Eat Healthier this year
5. Stop being negative.

After you get your raise and lose the 10 pounds you can update the list to Ask for a promotion, and
lose 10 more pounds...
You should have a list of goals your entire life. It means you want to do better and improve
yourself.

You should also have a Bucket List. This is a list of things you want to accomplish and see and do
before you die

A Sample Bucket List:

1. Go see the Empire State Building
2. Learn a new Language
3. Go Bungy Jumping
4. Learn to drive a Mack Truck
5. Get Beyonces autograph PERSONALLY.

Fill it with everything you can think of. Then work on doing them.
It will fill your life up with excitement and fun.....and make you more interesting.

Stages Of Personal Development (repeated from book 1)

Read this all carefully...
Age 0-4
When you are little, you learn to trust and learn that your parents love you and are there to protect
and care about you. Its the time of no worries and just playing and being a kid and having that
cushion so that when you go out in the world you have that to fall back on.
Age 5-10
As a school age child you are now in a social setting and learning to get along with others and
make friends. You learn rules of how to relate to others, as well as applying board game rules and
rules of exclusion and inclusion to life. Kids this age begin comparing themselves with peers and
are concerned about their abilities and talents. Family, School, Friends and Holidays are your life
Age 11-16
You are gaining independence and autonomy, experimenting and rebelling and teaching the
parent that you can be trusted. Learning boundaries. Parents are there to set rules and guide you.
You are taking small risks. You become aware of attraction towards other people. Fitting in is the
world to you.
Age 17-18
You now have clear preferences and goals and you know what your career path is in life is and
what type of spouse you want in the future. And you are taking bigger risks. Getting away from
your parents is your immediate goal.
Age 19-21
You are in college out on your own exploring adulthood and making your own decisions. You do a
lot of experimenting with sex, drugs and alcohol, and setting your own rules without parents
looking over your shoulders. You are learning self discipline...Travelling, learning new things.
Setting down experiences like Burning Man and making it thru school is your life.
Age 22-25
Having a job, dating, getting married, having your own apartment, being a free couple without
kids, Romantic trips and evenings. Exploring each other sexually and setting that intimate bond.
Your mate is your life.
Age 25-30
Being a parent, buying your first house, entertaining. Being your own family unit. Bonding as a
family. Family is your life.
*
All of these Stages are critical in each persons development. If one is missing or somehow
damaged you might not suffer too much, but if they are all damaged or missing then you are left
with an adult with major issues dealing with life, problems, others and responsibilities
For example,
If you don't establish trust with your parents when you are very small and they repeatedly allow
you to get hurt, then there is no cushion and you always hit hard ground and since you cannot
trust anyone you learn to protect yourself by "becoming hard", or using drugs or alcohol later on.
If a child goes thru a time in life where they aren't allowed to be a child, they will then not be a
total grown up sometime later on.
If a teen doesn't have that period of independence of teen years they wont be satisfied in their
adulthood and be reliving their teen years to catch up.
If a person doesn't get that free alone young adult time between High School and Employment or
High School and after College, then it will effect their marriage or life later
If a couple doesn't have that young couple romantic time alone for a few years to travel and be
freely intimate sexually before they have kids, they might grow to resent those kids.
So you can see how if one stage doesn't happen healthily and the next doesn't happen healthily
and so on and so on you have a very stunted or confused adult.
And you will end up HURTING your kids, spouse and that great family life you NEED in the future.
So dont get pregnant before “commitment/marriage” and stay in school and have fun and live a
LOT (not a little) before you get that “commitment/marriage”...
 

Subchapters:

1. A) Be Your Authentic Self
2. B) Interests
3. C) School
4. D) Career
5. E) Freedom and Fun
6. F) Bullies
7. G) The Whole Person

Subchapter A/ Be Your Authentic Self
If you fake who YOU are, how will anyone get to know the real YOU?
Your Authentic Self is the person you truly are. No fakery.
Its YOU without your mom and dad, without your sisters and brothers, without your friends
or school or job
Its just YOU.
Its your natural self. Your personality, humor, talents, spirituality etc
Without lies, ego, airs or fantasy life....
You and only you!
The person you are in alone time.

Subchapter B/ Interests
In order to be INTERESTING you have to have INTERESTS.
When I was younger I had the following hobbies, Elton John, Food, Going to the mall, TV
and Celebrity Gossip...
Even though I was intelligent my Mother never took us anywhere or enrolled me in
extracurricular activities so I basically was a boring braindead airhead.
I couldn't hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes cause I had nothing to add or say. I
had been absolutely no where, done absolutely nothing. I had never been on a waterslide
or seen Fourth Of July Fireworks before the age of 30!
When I grew up and left my mother's oppressive house and got my license and started
exploring and started delving into things I was interested in and got a computer I can now
say I have probably 100 + interests and hobbies and Im always adding more. As a result I can
usually find something to do or talk about everywhere I go.
For instance these are my hobbies and interests now
Chat, Computers, Electronics, Police Scanners, Politics, Dogs, Japan, Womens Issues,
Wildlife, Basketball, Cooking and Food, Culture, Current Events, GEOCaching, Roadtrips,
Sewing, Tv, Fitness
Start with a sport you like, then add a craft, and a cause you want to volunteer for, then
add a place you like to go or think you wanna go,
You are so lucky to grow up in the computer age! You can research, look up and Google all
kinds of activities and hobbies and that was not available when I was growing up.
If you are thinking you might kinda sorta be interested in bowling then you can Google your
local Alleys and see if they have any youth bowling leagues that you can join
Interests make you Interesting!

Subchapter C/ School
I do not want you to think about growing up right now, you do not want to grow up. I want
you to stay in school, get good grades, find your passion and get a fun job and have as
MUCH fun and FREEDOM after High School as possible.
ONCE YOU GROW UP AND MOVE OUT EVERYTHING YOU DO IS ON YOU! YOU HAVE TO
NOW DO EVERYTHING FOR YOURSELF. EVERYTHING IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! ON YOUR
18TH BIRTHDAY, YOU CAN NOW GO TO JAIL AND GET SUED FOR YOUR DEBTS AND
MISDEMEANOURS....
THENNNNNN...ONCE YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP, IT IS NOW 2 PEOPLE TO THINK ABOUT.
ANNNNND ONCE YOU HAVE A BABY, YOUR FREEDOM IS GONE, WHAT YOU THINK IS FUN
CHANGES, BUT YOU CAN NEVER EVER EVER GET THOSE YOUNG HAPPY FREE YEARS BACK!
So make the most of your remaining years in school.
Apply yourself, get into clubs, immerse yourself in your studies, Get into school spirit. Go to
all the schools home games.
If you have self esteem issues join the debate team and public speaking.
HAVE FUN LIKE ITS YOUR LAST DAYS ON EARTH!
Some of the lessons and concepts I'm trying to teach you in this book are so difficult to get
through in words! I was your age and I'm not sure if, at your age, it would have gotten
through to me how important these younger years are and how much I'd wished I had
stayed in school and had that whole time in my life to re-do. I so much wish that I could take
the memory chip out of my head and put it in yours.
Learn as much as you can so you can be an educated intelligent well rounded individual and
attract good people, mates and jobs to you after school and you can have a happy good
life!

Subchapter D/ Life and Career
First,
Do some career and personality matching tests
http://jobsearch.about.com/od/careertests/a/careertests.htm
Second,
Consult the Life Catalog, Book 2 Chapter 1, peruse the prices of houses and the pay of jobs
and see what salary and job you will need in order to make that house and that lifestyle
happen for you.
Then go for it!
Make your dreams come true.

Subchapter E/ Freedom and Fun
One of my top reasons for writing this book is to make sure you get THIS part of your life
and live it fully.
EVERYONE needs a period in their lives where they have no kids, no parental rule, no
significant other in their lives to answer to, to be free and sleep all day, dance all night, try
new things, bungy jump, travel all summer without worries and responsibilities.
If you dont have that magical time in your life to do those things, and you have kids too
soon, you will be resentful of your kids, your spouse, your job and your friends who have no
kids. You will not be truly happy and will always have that longing for freedom and faraway
places.
Freedom! …. You NEED it.
Its good for your mental health, your physical health (resentments breed STRESS) and gives
you a time to get to know YOURSELF and your CAPABILITIES.
Do not get PREGNANT young, or else your adventure is now over.
Try everything, do as much as you can. Have fun, laugh, be free, dont let fear or anxiety
stop you.
Bus and train tickets are cheap. Look up Youth Hostels, save up money to go go go.
The world is all yours, go live YOUR LIFE!
Re-read Book 1 Chapter 11 for a more in depth explanation

Subchapter F/ Bullies
Happy, Secure, Mentally Healthy people don't need to make others feel like shit.
The skinny snobby mean girls show up at the 20th Class Reunions Fat with assholes for
husbands.
There are two different types of bullies:

• The bully who bullies due to jealousy:
These bullies are insecure about themselves. They are jealous of YOU so they
bully to make you seem smaller. Treat them with kindness, humor them, be
self deprecating, and point out something positive about them. Its reverse
psychology.
• The bully who bullies cause he views you as weak, and he's sadistically using YOUR
weaknesses as a way to make him/herself feel better inside.
Ignore them at every chance you can! Do not show fear or hurt around them.
Tell someone immediately when they start.
Remember the reasons bullies bully is not about YOU it is about them.
Again, Happy, Secure, Mentally Healthy people don't need to make others
feel like shit.
THAT INCLUDES YOU!

Subchapter G/ The Whole Person
I am copying this entire thing from DU to post here cause honestly it is the best, most
perfect explanation about what being a Whole Person means, feels like and is...
What does "become a whole person" mean to you?
I met a woman last night who was struggling with some issues similar to the ones I am
confronting and I said that 'I want to become a whole person'. She challenged me to define
that in more specific terms. I thought that was a great idea. Part of the general answer is:
To be a whole person is to be in a state where you are not seeking out pieces from others
to fill or make-up for holes in your life, because you have filled or are filling them.
And I think of this like a beaver's dam -- it doesn't actually stop the water (problems). But it
creates a calm livable place where the beaver can have a family. The dam survives storms
because the beaver repairs it promptly and effectively. I may not get to 100% whole and
that is okay as long as I get to live in a comfortable livable beaver pond.
I welcome your thoughts and comments, and your definition if you want to share them.
What does becoming a 'whole person' mean to Kurt ?
Emotionally whole

• - getting in touch with and taking personally responsibility for getting my basic needs met
• every day
• - sharing my concerns and worries with people who will listen, and in turn being there for
• them
• - forcing myself to find and live within a healthy balance between my work, passions,
• creative outlets, chores, relaxation, nourishment and exercise. Not neglecting any of those
• areas. Making course corrections as needed.
• Physically whole
• - taking care of my physical health through proper rest, exercise, hygiene, stress reduction,
• sex and diet
• - owning my energy and using it in the areas I choose to focus on
• - taking care of my appearance in order to feel, enjoy and attract healthy energy
• and Spiritually whole
• - embracing and having my spiritual needs met, including:

* feeling connected to the spiritual realm
* having the Zen of feeling at peace with my role in this Life
* asking questions of, and listening to the answers of, my spiritual guides. Thanking them.

• - getting back the Zen (aka Serenity) to not react in unhealthy ways to the stresses I face
• every day
• - not allowing my Self to be pulled into pieces by the diverse stresses of money, time,
• relationships, luck, and all the thing beyond my control

Why become a whole person ?
Best and healthiest way to fully live throughout this lifetime.
Avoid bringing issues into a relationship that cannot be solved by the other person or that
will limit the success of the relationship.
Be better able to help others achieve their fulfillment and happiness.
Source: http://bit.ly/1hyqKDk

To Recap:

1) Decide what kind of a person you are and want to be.
2) Do introspection and change what you can to be better.
3) Interests make you INTERESTING and goals keep you moving forward.
4) Love yourself, respect yourself and OTHERS WILL TOO.