Chapter 13 - Depression and all the crazies

 

 

Chapter 13 - Depression And All The Crazies

This whole second book hinges on preventing you from being depressed, sad, stressed out and panicked, so you can be happy and live a full lucid life with no regrets. In order to accomplish that, you need to be able to make smart, wise, good choices while you are still young, and learn to love yourself.

Depression and Anxiety/Panic Attacks are both physical responses to a psychological action. They dont mean you are mentally ill or bad. They just mean that something has happened that has overloaded your nervous system and stress level and you may need medication to correct it or you simply need to destress and have someone to talk to.

If you have too much depression or stress or anxiety

• You could start pulling out your hair
• Grinding your teeth
• Cutting yourself
• Develop an eating disorder.
• Develop stomach issues
• Lose huge chunks of time recuperating (panic attacks take a lot out of people)
• Overeat.
• Not eat.
• Not take care of your house, which is stressful on it's own since you then can't have anyone over.
• Not bathe at times.
• Not be able to take your kids on trips
• Wont be able too watch simple tv shows or sports cause they stress you out too much.
• Not wanna have sex with your mate.
• Not care what you look like.
• Stay with your abusive mate cause you don't have the energy to dump him.
• Lash out and snipe at others.
• Have to go on diet after diet trying to lose the weight after overeating to dull your depression.
• Not have energy to take your kids to the park or play a game with them occasionally (adding more guilt and stress onto you)

I am 47 yrs old...
I am always stressed out.
I am always depressed.
I have panic attacks that sometimes last a month.

Depression and Anxiety have caused me to do all of those things in the list above and more.
I still sleep with the lights on and I double check the locks before bed. I am scared to fly.

BUT I had NO ONE to help guide or help me to stop all this nonsense while I was still young enough to stop it in its tracks, BEFORE I got to be in my 30s and 40s and got set in permanently.

So Depression and Anxiety HAVE RUINED MY LIFE!
Andddddddd SO UNNECESSARILY!

Being born to an emotionally abusive neglectful narcissist was not my fault!
Being born to a recovering domestically abusive alcoholic father was not my fault!
Having my mother mold my sister into a Snobby Mean Girl Princess who beat me up and bullied me was not my fault!
Being beat up by my one teacher was not my fault!
Being Raped at age 11 was not my fault!
Being bullied and beat up by my sister and neighborhood kids was not my fault!

And all the ways I then used to deal with those abnormal situations and abuses (IE Coping Mechanisms) was NOT MY FAULT.
And if you have a similar childhood as mine, they arent yours either.
The reason my Depression and Anxiety were able to get to the point of ruining my life is because all along the way in my life NO ONE was HELPING me or giving me advice or getting me into therapy or building my self esteem up or getting me into activities or caring about me or protecting me or LOVING ME. 

And if there is NO ONE THERE FOR YOU EITHER! THEN DATGUMMIT YOU NEED TO BE THERE FOR YOURSELF AND PULL YOURSELF OUT AND UP WHILE YOU ARE STILL YOUNG ENOUGH FOR ANY HELP YOU GET TO WORK AND PREVENT YOUR LIFE FROM BEING HELL LIKE MINE IS!!!!

Stress, Depression and Anxiety don’t just effect the mind. They also cause REAL PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS.
They can lead to weakening of the heart, muscle aches and body pains, fibromyalgia, diabetes, metabolism issues, dehydration, cancer, GERD and ulcers.

They can also cause chemical imbalances that can become permanent over time, which is why eventually some people with depression never come out of it and become cat hoarders living in filth. Stress also causes hormonal imbalances that can cause your head hair to fall out and to grow facial hair and nipple hair or overeat and become obese.

Stressors (things that cause STRESS – Thus things that trigger Panic and Depression)

A Stressor is a chemical or biological agent, environmental condition, external stimulus or an event that causes stress to an organism. An event that triggers the stress response may include:

Environmental Stressors (elevated sound levels, over-illumination, overcrowding)
Daily Stress Events (e.g. traffic, lost keys, quality and quantity of physical activity)
Life Changes (e.g. divorce, bereavement)
Workplace Stressors (e.g. high job demand v. low job control, repeated or sustained exertions,
forceful exertions, extreme postures)
Chemical Stressors (e.g. tobacco, alcohol, drugs)
Social Stressor (e.g., societal and family demands)

Stressors have physical, chemical and mental responses inside of the body. Physical stressors produce mechanical stresses on skin, bones, ligaments, tendons, muscles and nerves that cause tissue deformation and in extreme cases tissue failure. Chemical stresses also produce biomechanical responses associated with metabolism and tissue repair. Physical stressors may produce pain and impair work performance. Chronic pain and impairment requiring medical attention may result from extreme physical stressor or if there is not sufficient recovery time between successive exposures. Stressors may also affect mental function and performance. One possible mechanism involves stimulation of the hypothalamus, crf (conticotrophin release factor) -> pituitary gland releases “acth” (adrenocorticotropic hormone) ->adrenal cortex secretes various stress hormones (e.g. cortisol) ->stress hormones (30 varieties) travel in the blood stream to relevant organs e.g. glands, heart, intestines. ->flight-or-fight response. Between this flow there is an alternate path that can be taken after the stressor is transferred to the hypothalamus, which leads to the sympathetic nervous system. After which, the adrenal medulla secretes epinephrine. Mental and social stressors may affect behavior and how individuals respond to physical and chemical stressors.
(Source: Paraphrased from Wikipedia)

Anxiety/Panic Disorder

 I was shy and a worrywart growing up. It all began due to the domestic violence situation in my home between my mother and father.
My anxiety presented itself in my Elementary School Years as HYPERACTIVITY and hyper vigilance and bed wetting and nervous energy...
I couldnt concentrate or relax enough to make friends because I was constantly in fear of something happening at home to my mother.

Instead of my mother leaving my father and giving my immature nervous system a break and time to rest and heal, she stayed with him for 10 yrs. So the chemicals in my nervous system stayed in a heightened state and laid the foundation for later Anxiety and Panic Disorder...
So what this did was everytime I had a small stressor in my life, my body released chemicals which signaled that I was in danger and I'd spend all day worrying instead of being a kid.

Being raped at 11, bullied by neighborhood kids and my own sister beating me up and bullying me...even after my parents got divorced still didn't allow my nervous system to catch it's breath...

Then being with my son's angry father and dealing with my sons Autism diagnosis virtually alone, major debt and the crazy next door neighbors only added to the stress I had from growing up with my crazy mom and sister, the neighborhood bullies and my Father and threw my brain chemistry into overdrive and I started getting full blown panic attacks.

My sons father never hit me, but he threw things, broke things, punched holes in walls, and I immediately went back to those days with my mom and dad arguing and I shut down and my day and week was ruined and everytime it happened it caused my sexual attraction to my ex to slip farther away.
I can now not deal with angry people well, even if they have a right to be angry and I know they wont hit me...

When I had my first full blown Panic Attack, I thought I was having a heart attack. My heart rate went up, I was sweating, I needed to pee really bad and I felt dizzy and thought I was dying. It was 1999, around December or November and I was standing in my Familyroom and the news stated that “Hackers are planning on taking down the electrical grid on Y2K (the year 2000)” I immediately felt my heart beating out of my chest and my stomach rose in my chest and I felt like I needed to RUN...Because I was the ONLY one in the family that was an adult and responsible for EVERYTHING in all our lives, I panicked because OMG WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE WINTER WITH NO HEAT OR POWER?! HOW WILL I KEEP MY FAMILY SAFE?!

I thought I was having a heart attack!

I immediately went to the Dr and was told “You are not dying you are having a Panic Attack!” She prescribed me a prescription to Paxil and I went home and took it. My panic attack subsided after taking the first pill because of the placebo effect. But 5 days later my heart was pounding out of my chest due to side effects of the Paxil. It just didn't agree with my system, it raises my blood pressure...So I asked for a quick acting anti-anxiety drug called Xanax, and it helped tremendously.
After I started having more panic attacks I then went to a therapist to figure out how to deal with this new normal.
She tried to teach me to self hypnotize and do biofeedback, unfortunately I cannot be hypnotized it doesn't work on my brain.

Over the years even before my first major panic attack, I “self medicated” by anorexia, binge eating, grinding my teeth, pulling hair out, picking at my nails till they were raw, abusing myself with promiscuity, not taking care of myself etc..

I was the family's IDENTIFIED PATIENT.

Identified Patient

 Psychology term describing an individual, usually a child or teen, in a dysfunctional family who:

1) Gets scapegoated and blamed for a family's problems

2) Has emotional problems that are not a mental illness, but a normal response to the stress of dealing with an unhealthy family in denial

3) Blows the whistle on a dysfunctional family's problems 

Phrase originated because family therapists recognized that the child "identified" as the patient is not necessarily the one who is sick.

1) John is dropping out of school and doing drugs and his parents want him institutionalized, but it turns out his mother is an abusive alcoholic and his father is chronically absent. John is the identified patient.

2) Becky is extremely depressed and fearful. She accuses her father, correctly, of molestation, but the parents deny it and accuse Becky of being sick for reasons that have nothing to do with them. Becky is the identified patient.

(Source unknown)

It is my opinion that people who do drugs, abuse themselves, develop eating disorders, becoming promiscuous etc etc etc do so because they are hurting and/or there is something bad or disordered about their homelives I do not believe that a person who was raised in a loving, secure home wakes up one day
and says, “Today I'm going to become a drug addict!” Unless there are addiction genes in the family.

So if YOU are being raised in a DYSFUNCTIONAL household, If YOU are being abused, emotionally,
Physically and/or sexually. If YOU are being bullied, or beaten up. If YOU are being neglected or ignored...

YOU NEED TO NOT CONTINUE THE DYSFUNCTION AND ABUSE BY NOT ABUSING YOURSELF ANY FURTHER AND FIXING THE ROOT CAUSE OF THE SELF ABUSE, WHICH IS ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION FROM BEING ABUSED OR NEGLECTED...

For instance:

Let's say you were sexually abused and no one helped you get help, so to deal with your depression and anxiety you grew up eating your feelings and became an obese 250+ lb woman to deal with the pain of being sexually abused. You cannot LIVE your life as a happy confident healthy woman now. Instead of making the abuser pay for what he/she did YOU are making YOURSELF PAY because you blame yourself and hate yourself !!!!!

IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! ABUSE, NEGLECT ETC IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!

Look I don't care if you have to wait til you are 18, and go down to the welfare office and apply for welfare, food stamps, medicaid and public housing ...just get the fuck out of the negative, abusive, neglectful house  and use the medicaid to get into therapy and start your life and love yourself...

If you can't wait that long call the cops or CPS. Do something! Get yourself help.

YOU MUST SAVE YOURSELF! I WANT YOU TO LIVE AND BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY!

The root causes of eating disorders, promiscuity, drug addiction, self harm, self abuse, self hate and self
blame are Anxiety and Depression...

• You overeat to deal with the depression of being molested
• You bite your nails and pull out hair to deal with anxiety from watching your parents hit each other.
• You become promiscuous to gain control over your sexuality to deal with the pain and depression of being raped.
• You practice stressor avoidance and limit your life adventures to deal with panic attacks that you started getting, after being beat up and bullied.

Then guess what happens?

You now are 35 and obese and have prediabetes BECAUSE you overate when you were younger to deal
with depression of being molested. 

You now are 35 and have large bald patches and you have infected cuticles BECAUSE you started biting your nails and pulling out hair when you were younger to deal with anxiety from watching your parents hit each other. 

You are now 35 and have herpes and chlamydia (which left you infertile) BECAUSE you became promiscuous to gain control over your sexuality to deal with the pain and depression of being raped when you were younger. 

You are now 35 and you never leave the house and you've never reached any of the goals or dreams you had as a child, because you practiced avoidance and limited your life to deal with panic attacks that you started getting after being beat up and bullied when you were younger.

DEAL WITH THE TRAUMA AND PAIN OF THE ABUSE, LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AND STOP BLAMING YOURSELF, AND GET HELP FOR THE ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION SO YOU CAN LIVE A FULL HAPPY HEALTHY LIFE...

Conditions

Worry, Anxiety/G.A.D., Panic Disorder and Related Conditions
NOTE: Some anxiety and/or panic issues can be caused by hormonal imbalances or low blood sugar issues. Pay attention to your body. If you need to eat or you are PMSing and you have anxiety, maybe you need to see a Doctor.
The same exact body processes that produce that feeling of excitement when you are happy also produce the feeling of anxiety when you are upset. Which is why some people with anxiety dislike surprises or roller coasters and scary movies.
Not being able to enjoy life or be afraid to get on a plane to take the kids to Disneyworld or to fulfill your life long wish to visit Japan, or to enjoy the THRILLS of life because of ANXIETY that someone else caused you to have means your anxiety and panic disorder is untreated and out of control. YOU need to be in control NOT your anxiety .

Worry
Worry is the feeling you have in your mind when you are thinking something bad might happen, its the negative fearful thoughts that run through your mind that make you feel uneasy. Every one worries about something in their daily lives. Its normal.

Anxiety/G.A.D.
Anxiety or Generalized Anxiety Disorder is that feeling we all get when we worry too much about something. Its like butterflies in our stomach. Its when worry goes into slight overdrive.

 

Symptoms
Muscle tension
Excessive worry
Sleep problems
Nausea
Not being able to breathe freely
Feeling jumpy and/or on edge
Cannot relax and be yourself
Semi Hypervigilance
Not being able to concentrate
Hyperactivity and nervousness
Pacing

 

Panic Attack

Panic Attack or Panic Disorder is what untreated Anxiety becomes if you have too much stress to
deal with. Its like piling things on a plate, eventually stuff will spill over the sides and fall off.

Symptoms

Sweating
Dizziness
Shaking hands or whole body
Electric shock feeling in hands and toes or numbness
Feeling like you need to run away from your body
Feeling unreal.
Pounding Heart and some chest pain
Frequent Urination
Pooping Your Pants
Not being able to catch your breath

Nervous Breakdown

A Nervous Breakdown is when your anxiety and nerves or depression get so overloaded that there
is a complete breakdown of mental function to the extent that you cannot function at all and you
have to be taken to the hospital for treatment until the issue is alleviated...

Nervous Disorders

OCD/Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

 OCD is a nervous disorder in which sufferers have irrational intrusive compulsive thoughts and
needs which propel them to perform rituals or behaviors to calm themselves. Like someone has to
check the door locks 10 times before bed or they wont be able to sleep or washing their hands 20
time in a row cause they think germs are going to kill them.

Trichotillomania

Trichotillomania is a nervous disorder where people (mostly women) pull their hair out strand by
strand, leaving bald patches, as a way to deal with stress. The hair grows back once the stressor is
removed from the sufferers life.

Cutting

Cutting is a nervous disorder where people (mostly women) cut themselves with knives, razors,
needles etc as a way to deal with stress or other bad feelings. Theoretically the pain from cutting
releases endorphins which calm the sufferer. Once the stressor is removed from the sufferers life,
the scars heal.

Grinding Teeth

Grinding teeth is a nervous disorder where people grind their teeth, sometimes causing dental
issues, as a way to deal with stress. Once the stressor is removed from the sufferers life, the
grinding stops and the dental problems can be fixed with a Dentist visit.

Biting Nails

Nail Biting is a nervous disorder where people bite the white parts of their fingernails severely and
sometimes till their nails bleed, as a way to deal with stress. The nails grow back once the stressor
is removed from the sufferers life.

Compulsive Shopping

Compulsive Shopping is consistent over shopping to the point of major debts and addiction to
spending money,

Pseudo-Hyperactivity

Pseudo Hyperactivity is not real Hyperactivity (like ADD or ADHD) it is actually the outward
nervousness, pacing, fidgetting of anxiety that mimics hyperactivity.

Get more in depth info on Anxiety and Panic here http://www.helpguide.org/homepages/
anxiety.htm

My Personal Tips In Dealing With Anxiety and Panic
• Find a medication that works for you. I use quick acting prescription Xanax, but I also
occasionally use OTC supplements like GABA, Inositol, Kava Kava or Mothers Milk.
• Try and get angry. Go rage at something online (preferably Kim Kardashian) get the anxiety
out thru angry and yelling and screaming. Beat up a pillow, run around the block. It rewires
the circuit.
• Clean the house.
• Personally I can drive and shop with a panic attack, I never let anxiety stop me from daily
routines, BUT Im still too stressed to make it to Disneyworld or Japan..gggrrr.
• Honestly the worst thing to do is to avoid the news or money issues when MONEY AND
NEWS cause anxiety. Just FACE THEM HEAD ON.
• Go talk to your neighbors or people in town, just to get out of that feeling of isolation.
• Go out and walk around the mall make several stops along the way...It will reassure you
that the world is okay and you are okay.
• Call a hotline, share how you are feeling...ask for advice
• Everything usually works out...<<<TELL YOURSELF THIS

Depression
I can distinctly pinpoint when my lifelong battle with clinical depression began...When I was a little
4 year old girl my Mother would make me sit in the backseat of the car. I felt so low when shed do
things like that. I felt she didnt love me. I felt that I was scum and that my mom just didnt like me
the way she adored my sister. She told me that my sister had to sit in the front because the
backseat makes her nauseous because of her diabetes...It was just an excuse my mom used to play
favorites and not make my sister upset...Making me sit in the backseat started my lifelong
depression.
Having depression as a child is difficult. It can keep you from feeling JOY, forming friendships,
doing well in school, being enthusiastic.
There are three types of depression...
S.A.D./Seasonal Affective Disorder
S.A.D. Is a type of depression that occurs in the late fall and winter time due to the diminishing
levels of daytime sunlight that occurs during the fall and winter. You can up your Vitamin D and
buy special lights and lightbulbs for your house that boost your exposure to pep you up. Note:
regular lightbulbs do not help.
Simple Depression
Simple Depression is just that...a simple non serious short case of sadness. It does not last that
long and you usually bounce back …
Clinical Depression
Clinical Depression is long lasting deep profound depression. The kind of depression that prevents
you from getting out of bed, taking care of yourself, thinking of the future. It makes you feel
hopeless.

My Personal Tips In Dealing With Depression
• When you are NOT depressed and you are happy, write a list of positive things about your
life. Then when you are depressed bring the list out to reassure yourself.
• Dont watch so many negative Tv shows or movies...I realized awhile ago that I always
watch sad, depressing Tv shows (like NEWS, CNN, Nancy Grace Dr Drew, Crime Shows etc) I
didnt watch a single HAPPY or POSITIVE Show. So Im adding more happy sitcoms (love
ChiPs and Happy Days)
• Go play with puppies at the pet store. Instant boost.
• Go volunteer at an old folks home.

Eating Disorders
I became an anorexic after my rape. The turn around was stunning. Once day I was eating
NORMALLY, the day after I was raped I stopped eating. I stopped eating for 10 days! I became
obsessed with dieting and starving myself. I drank pots of coffee a day, took packs of Dexatrim (no
longer made) and took tons of Diurex Water Pills a day. Once when I couldn't get any Diurex Pills or
coffee I then drank an entire 3 LITER bottle of Diet Coke (they made 3 Liter Bottles for a short time
in the 1980s) just for the caffeine to stave off my hunger and give me pep. For a short time I took
Exlax and became a bulimic...
I would excessively exercise with my Jane Fonda record everyday.
I would only eat one meal a day. I became addicted to hunger pangs. I got up to a 2 pack a day
cigarette habit.

I look so sickly in this picture
I was a diet junkie, and since my mother wasn't cooking us meals after the divorce and I suspect
she had started sleeping with her married boss at that time, she wasn't paying a whole lot of
attention to what was going on in her own 4 room apartment. I had stopped taking lunch to
school and stopped eating breakfast. I would come home and just eat uncooked chocolate
meringue and that's all. Id go for 5-8 day stretches without eating a thing, just coffee, diet soda
and cigarettes.
When I got older and met my sons father I was still heavily dieting. When I got pregnant I stopped
dieting, drinking coffee and smoking. Then after I had my son and was miserable with my EX, I
started becoming a compulsive overeater to gain weight as a SHIELD against sex with him.
All of this was a way to GAIN CONTROL BACK OVER A LIFE I FELT I HAD NO CONTROL OF MY OWN
OVER.
Some people with eating disorders become this way as a means to control SOMETHING in their
lives.
A large percentage of females with eating disorders have dysfunctional relationships with their
Mothers. It is a way to gain acceptance and love from the Mother. Meaning “If Im thin and pretty
my Mother will accept and love me”
Some do it to punish themselves for not being good enough. They have low self esteem.
Others do it as a way to stay children and not appear to be sexual adults. Dieting away their body
curves and breasts. Not having to grow up.
And finally its astounding as to how many women with eating disorders have had sexual abuse or
rape in their backgrounds.

Anorexia
Anorexia is starving yourself, not eating for long stretches of time and/or restricting calories
severely.
Bulimia
Bulimia is allowing yourself to eat something, then forcing yourself to vomit it up so your body
doesnt absorb the calories. It is also overusing using laxatives and water pills to purge food and
water weight fast.
Orthorexia
Orthorexia is the obsession with eating only specifically and supremely healthy foods or oonly
specific types of food.
Anorexia Athletica
Anorexia athletica is compulsively over exercising as a way to purge calories.
Binge Eating
Binge Eating is where a person will starve all week and then gorge on food all weekend in the
hopes of maintaining weight or to lose weight. Or its what a bulimic does before they vomit.
Compulsive Overeating
Is the compulsive act of consuming large amounts of food, sometimes up to 10,000 calories a day.
Sometimes its deliberate, other times its an act of true addiction where they are compelled to over
eat and cant stop.
A Little Tip:
My prediabetes diagnosis was my wake up call. Dont let your body get to that point. Get therapy
FIRST so you dont develop the eating disorder at all... Eat for HEALTHY not weight or looks, and
EXERCISE for strength and endurance not skinniness.

Other Mental Issues
Bipolar
Bipolar people are individuals who have chemcal imbalances in their brains that cause them to go
on cycles of happiness then sadness.
Schizophrenia
Schizophrenia is a mental disorder often characterized by abnormal social behavior and failure to
recognize what is real. Common symptoms include false beliefs, unclear or confused thinking,
auditory hallucinations, reduced social engagement and emotional expression, and inactivity.
Diagnosis is based on observed behavior and the person's reported experiences. (Wikipedia)
Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia is a chronic whole body pain disorder, which is diagnosed by applying pressure to
specific pain points on the body. Im mentioning it here as a “mental issue” only due to the fact
that there is evidence of a relationship between Fibromyalhia and Childhood Sexual Trauma...
ADD/ADHD
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a problem of not being able to focus, being
overactive, not being able control behavior, or a combination of these. For these problems to be
diagnosed as ADHD, they must be out of the normal range for a person's age and development.
(Wikipedia)
Some ADD/ADHD sufferers arent suffering real ADD/ADHD but are simply overtired from the lack
of DEEP REM sleep caused by sleep apnea due to enlarged adenoids. When the ademoids are
removed the ADD/ADHD goes away

So, how do you have a healthy and happy life?

Easy.

The real key to health and happiness in life is to reduce stress, getting rid of drama and things that draw stress and anxiety to you. To not be a magnet for drama....

And the number one way to do this is to not listen to anyone on Tv or Advertisers about how you need to live the Lifestyle Of The Rich and Famous. How you NEED this or that product to be happy.
You know why?
The more expensive the house, car, jewelry, clothing etc, the more YOU have to work to maintain it.
The more work you have to do, is more stress for you.

For example:

• A more expensive McMansion costs a lot to maintain (insurance, landscaping, real estate taxes, appliances etc) and requires more service persons at your home and you to wait for them. STRESS
• A more expensive car has higher insurance rates, and more expensive parts.STRESS
• Jewelry is just pretty rocks that put you at a higher risk of being mugged or robbed, plus if you have a lot of jewelry, your home insurance rates go up. STRESS
• Expensive clothing just means more maintenance and dry cleaning bills. Which means YOU have to go to a store, drop clothes off, and go pick them up. STRESS.

Get rid of these stressful things that cause you to work so hard to maintain.
The only reason you have them, is NOT to make yourself happy, but to make others think you are big shit!

• Get an education and a solid dependable job. LESS STRESS
• Buy a modest easy to keep house instead, and a dependable car and live below your means.
• As soon as possible invest in GEOthermal HVAC and then Solar. In 10 yrs it will be paid off and you wont have any electric bills ever again and you get $200-$300 checks from the electric company. LESS STRESS
• Set up an emergency bank account containing $2400. LESS STRESS
• Dont fill your house with shit you have to dust or clean. LESS STRESS
• Invest in tangible things like vacations, and things for your family LESS STRESS
• Realize that FAMILY equals WEALTH, not money. LESS STRESS
• Have a tiny wedding, save that money for your house, then have a party there to celebrate your marriage.  LESS STRESS
• Get rid of negative people and things. LESS STRESS

• If you have family members or friends who are rachet, or narcissistic, go FULL no contact. LESS STRESS.
• Stop watching all the news programs full of scary shit. LESS STRESS
• Forgo Celebrity Gossip in all its forms, find more fullfilling ways to fill your mind, LESS STRESS.
• Stop watching Reality Tv. Its full of vapid, narcissistic, negative energy. Plus it teaches you to accept abnormal things as normal, LESS STRESS.
• As soon as each child you have can walk, start them helping you or cleaning. You wont raise assholes this way. LESS STRESS

Accept yourself for who you are and what your body looks like.
Quit trying to be someone you aren't.
Good in, good out. Do good for others even when you don't feel like it, it will come back to you.
Realize that honesty and integrity still count.
Eat healthy food, get exercise and go to bed at a decent hour.
Turn the computer, phone and Tv off an hour a day
Take up meditation (it's hard at first, but you'll get it)
Do activities as a family
Take a walk after dinner, All the most successful marriages have this in common.

Go to therapy BEFORE even finding a mate, fix yourself so you wont depend on others to fix you.
Raise sons to be good husbands, so later on his wife wont kick him out and be at your door step.
Raise Daughters to be educated, fearless and stand up for themselves,
Don't marry a man who is beneath you or marry a man who acts like a rowdy fratboy, they don't mature and you will be his mother sooner or later and that's HUGE STRESS
Don't marry anyone who has anger issues or who is clingy. HUGE RED FLAGS, HUGE STRESS

Don't engage in activities which draw negative attention to you or put you at risk.
Don't post naked pics online
Stay away from drugs and people who do them.
Stay away from showy displays online or in public.
In the end, going gambling or clubbing is nothing but trouble. Evaluate your reasons for wanting to be out in public at night with drunk assholes. Nothing good happens after 10pm.

Quit the bullshit.
Quit telling yourself lies.

Fix yourself before having kids so your issues don't get passed on to them and YOU have to deal with their shit later..

I think you get my point on how to reduce stress so you can live a happy healthy life.

So turn your Tv off, listen to real Drs/Therapists who are unbiased,and reduce stress.

You will be happier and healthier.

To Recap:
1. Get the anxiety and depression under control when you are still young
2. Stop blaming yourself for abuse youve suffered at the hands of others.
3. Report all abuse to the authorites